


We Did Not Know the Answers

by ShowMeAHero



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 10:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15532566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShowMeAHero/pseuds/ShowMeAHero
Summary: Taako is a light sleeper. Magnus has a nightmare.





	We Did Not Know the Answers

**Author's Note:**

> This time, I was asked for soft taagnus, and here we are.
> 
> The title was taken from ["Castle on the Hill"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0ibBPhiaG0) by Ed Sheeran.

Taako is a light sleeper. Like,  _ too  _ light of a sleeper, an  _ exceedingly  _ light sleeper, especially after what his whole life has done to him plus the night terrors he gets pretty much on the reg. So, whenever he’s in a trance, or even just trying to sleep, and he hears or senses anything out of the ordinary in the room with him, he’s instantly wide awake.

In this moment, he’s jolting upright, trying to catch his breath. He was halfway through a night terror himself, and as he shakes off the vestiges of the nightmare, he sees Magnus sitting on the edge of their shared bed, his head in his hands, chest heaving.

“Mags?” Taako asks, bleary. His heart’s pounding, and Magnus doesn’t turn to look at him, so it starts going even faster, beating even deeper. He shuffles over. “Hey, Mags, what’s—”

“Don’t touch me,” Magnus snaps, and Taako's ears flick back as he freezes. He stops moving entirely, then sits on his hands. He’s got sweat on his face, and when he looks into Magnus’ face, he does, too. Taako shifts himself to the edge of the mattress and sits next to Magnus, his feet swinging over the open air.

“Didja have a nightmare?” Taako asks. Magnus buries his face in his hands. “Me, too. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No,” Magnus bites off. Taako nods, humming to himself, pretending he’s less freaked out than he really is.

“I had a nightmare, too,” Taako says. “Remember what you always tell me when I’m coming out of my night terrors?”

Magnus doesn’t reply.

“You always tell me how safe I am here with you,” Taako continues. “Because you always protect me, right? And I’m always having nightmares where we’re dying, so. You always save me. And I’ll save you, too. I’ll protect you. I’m pretty capable, I am pretty much the most powerful wizard in the known universe—”

“I had a dream where you died and then I—” Magnus starts to say, then stops. He rubs at his face, presses one hand over his chest. “Merle and I tried to bring you back but you were just— And it was during the— We couldn’t—  _ Fuck.” _

“Hey, Mags, I want you to breathe with me,” Taako says. He forces his own breathing to even out, and he watches as Magnus tries to do the same. He holds out a hand, lets it hover in the space between them. After a moment, Magnus takes it, wraps his giant hand around Taako’s and holds it so tightly Taako feels like his bones are grinding together. He strokes the back of Magnus’ hand with his thumb, then brings it up to his chest, presses the flat of Magnus’ palm over his lungs and breathes purposefully, making himself take steady pauses in between each inhale and exhale. Magnus’ breathing evens out, and he finally turns his head to look at Taako, like he’s actually looking  _ at  _ him instead of  _ through  _ him.

“You alright, bubbeleh?” Taako asks. Magnus shrugs, then looks away, back down at the floor. He wiggles his hand out of Taako’s and brings it down to his lap, locks his fingers together and stares at his chipped nails.

“It was a bad dream,” Magnus tells him. “I usually— I don’t usually get worked up like that. I didn’t mean to freak out like that, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Taako says. “If I ever apologized for every time I freaked out, I’d never stop saying  _ I’m sorry.” _

Magnus is quiet for a moment. Then, he reaches out, and Taako lets him take his hand out of his lap and press a kiss to his palm. He presses his mouth there for a long, long moment; his beard tickles Taako’s wrist, but he doesn’t move. After a while, Magnus shifts, pressing his forehead to Taako’s palm. Taako scratches at his hair.

“Hey,” Taako says, softly. “You’re okay, my man. You’re safe here. I’m good. I’m… I mean, I’m alive and everything.”

“Yeah,” Magnus breathes. Taako drags his hand down, cups Magnus’ chin and lifts his face to look at him.

“It’s really okay,” Taako tells him. “Like, really. No worries. You’re gonna be alright.”

Magnus nods. Taako lets him go and opens his arms, and Magnus dives into them, curling himself up in Taako’s lap. He’s a huge man, so he doesn’t fit, but he still tucks himself under Taako’s chin and lets himself be held. Taako runs his hands over Magnus’ back, lightly rakes his nails up and down, then in circles, until Magnus’ breathing fully calms and he stops shaking so much.

“God, I’m— I really am sorry,” Magnus repeats.

“Don’t be,” Taako says. He leans back to look at Magnus’ face, and Magnus moves them, shifts around so he’s sitting on the mattress and he can pull Taako into his lap instead. Taako lets him move him around, lets him pull Taako in and wrap himself around him. He recognizes how grounding it must be for him, so he just goes when Magnus does.

“I had a dream where we were back in Wonderland,” Magnus says, into the crown of Taako’s head. “And when you got crushed— Do you remember that?”

“Yup,” Taako answers, because how the fuck could he forget? “Like it was yesterday, my man.”

“Yeah, well, that,” Magnus continues. “And when you were— Like, when you were just falling over, vomiting blood, all that, I mean, except in the dream— You just collapsed, and I went to you and you weren’t— You weren’t breathing, so I tried to wake you up, and Merle tried to heal you, but nothing was working and—” Magnus exhales shakily; Taako feels his warm breath over his head. “I couldn’t protect you. It’s my  _ job  _ to protect you. It’s all I have for you.”

“You’re so much more than that,” Taako says. “I mean, you’re not bad to look at—”

“No,” Magnus cuts him off. “No, I mean… I’m supposed to  _ protect you.  _ That’s what I do. That’s what I  _ want  _ to do, it’s what I  _ have  _ to do. And I’m always afraid…” Magnus trails off, stops. Then, he says, “I’m always afraid I’m gonna fuck it up, and I’ll be too late, or I… I won’t be there, and I’m going to lose you.”

“You won’t,” Taako says. “I can take care of myself.”

“So could—” Magnus starts to say, then stops, abruptly. Taako can finish the statement himself, in his own head:  _ So could Julia.  _ He doesn’t say it out loud, though, and neither does Magnus.

“You’re not going to lose me,” Taako says again. “I promise.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I’d like to see you fucking stop me, homie,” Taako tells him. Magnus huffs a laugh, then leans, taking the point of Taako’s chin between his fingers and tipping his head back so he can kiss him softly. Taako grapples for something to say that’ll distract Magnus from all his sad thoughts.

“Hey,” Taako says, when Magnus pulls back. “What do you think our first kiss was?”

“What?” Magnus asks. “You only have one first kiss.”

_ “Normal  _ people only have one first kiss,” Taako says. “I don’t know what counts for us. What do you think?”

Magnus hums one note, tucking Taako’s head back under his chin. “Well, I mean, the first time we kissed was in that bar before we left on the mission, when you fucked me in the bathroom.”

Taako laughs. “I mean, yeah, if you count that.”

“Why not?” Magnus asks. “You did kiss me then.”

“But that was, like, a  _ fuck  _ kiss,” Taako tells him. “We were only supposed to be together for a couple more months. I wasn’t expecting all of  _ this.”  _ He motions between them.

“Well, the next time after that was during our time in the woods,” Magnus says. “What was that, the second cycle?”

“Third,” Taako says. “I think. Maybe?” Once they figured out the rules of this whole thing and decided to throw the whole  _ we’re coworkers, we’re crew, we shouldn’t do this  _ thing out the window. Magnus had dragged Taako out to the woods and made a halting confession and kissed him next to a river in the moonlight.

“Maybe that time in the kitchen,” Magnus suggests. “In the fourth cycle. Isn’t that the first time you kissed me?”

“Yeah, because you died right after you kissed  _ me  _ in the woods,” Taako replies.

“I mean, if you count the second time we met after Lucr— After we lost the memories,” Magnus says, “then maybe it was at Bottlenose Cove.”

“In front of the sandpipers?” Taako asks. He grins. “That was more of a joke than anything else.”

“These all still  _ count,”  _ Magnus argues.

“You kissed me when Refuge blew up for the first time,” Taako reminds him.

“Because I didn’t want to die not having kissed you for real,” Magnus says. Taako goes quiet for a second.

“Sure, if you wanna be a sap about it,” he says, and Magnus laughs.

“Maybe it’s after we got all our memories back,” Magnus suggests. “Once we had— You know, once we had our heads on straight and could be our whole selves again.”

“And you ran up and kissed me,” Taako says. He leans his head against Magnus’ chest. “Yeah, maybe.”

“To be honest, I don’t really care which one it is,” Magnus tells him. “As long as I get to keep doing it.”

“And you can keep doing it for as  _ long  _ as you  _ want,  _ babe,” Taako says. Magnus leans his head down, kisses Taako softly.

“How about this,” Magnus says. “I’m gonna just go sit outside for a little bit, calm my nerves. You get some more rest, then I’ll help you make breakfast later. Deal?”

“Okay,” Taako says. Magnus kisses him one last time, then lays him back down on the bed, tucking the covers back up around him. He kisses Taako’s forehead, then smiles at him, before leaving the room. Taako lays on his back, staring up at the ceiling in the dark as he hears their bedroom door shut. He sighs, then shuts his eyes, trying to settle back into a trance. He knows it’s fruitless; not only is he a light sleeper, but he’s completely unable to sleep without Magnus next to him.

Taako turns onto his side, stares at the far wall and just tries to relax. He can feel his own nightmare seeping back into his mind, his heartbeat starting to pick up a little. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to focus on something else, but all he can see is his night terror playing behind his eyelids, so he snaps his eyes back open again. He turns back over, looking at the empty space beside him where Magnus was supposed to be. He groans, dragging his hands down his face, pulling at his skin. He hauls himself up out of bed, slips one of Magnus’ shirts on, and heads outside to their front porch, where Magnus is sitting in their porch swing, just lightly rocking back and forth. Taako leans in their front doorway.

“Hey,” Taako says softly. Magnus jumps, looking up at him.

“Thought you were gonna get some more sleep,” Magnus says. Taako shrugs, lifting one shoulder. The sleeve of Magnus’ shirt slips off the shoulder and slides halfway down his arm. He doesn’t pull it back up, just pulls the ends of the sleeves over his hands and plays with the hems. Magnus gets up off the rocking chair. “Can’t sleep?”

“Guess not,” Taako says. “Guess I got used to having a big fucking bear snoring in my face and manhandling me in his sleep.”

“Guess so,” Magnus says. He ducks down, lifts Taako up with one arm behind his knees and the other around his back, carries him back inside and into their bed. He lays Taako down again, wraps one of his big arms around him and tugs him into his side. Taako’s pulse finally slows down, his nose stops prickling, the visions stop playing behind his eyes. He finally feels safe. Magnus is heavy, and solid, and warm, and comfortable, and just…  _ Magnus. _

“How’s that?” Magnus asks. He presses his face to Taako’s temple.

“That’s good,” Taako says. He turns into Magnus’ embrace. “Good for you?”

“Mm-hmm,” Magnus agrees. “Get some rest. I’ll be here.”

“Me, too,” Taako replies. Magnus kisses his temple and just keeps holding him, rubbing his hand lightly up and down Taako’s arm. Taako settles in, relaxes his muscles, lets himself comfort and be comforted in the darkness, nearing dawn.

**Author's Note:**

> I also actually wrote two books! It was a long road but, I did it! Ta-da! If you want to read either of them, shoot me a message!
> 
> I have a blog now to request imagines - I just like to make people happy. Submit requests [here!](https://imagine-in-the-fandoms.tumblr.com/ask)
> 
> You can follow me on Twitter at [@nicolelianesolo](https://twitter.com/nicoIodeon) or on Tumblr at [andillwriteyouatragedy](http://andillwriteyouatragedy.tumblr.com/).


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